Hinata's POV
by kokorodragon
Summary: A fic of Hinata's thoughts. She wonders about how weak she must be and how she would take over the HYuga clan. Slight romance involved. read and review!
1. pov1

**Hinata's POV**

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**[note: i don't really know what happened to Hinata's mnother, so in this story she's dead. T_T]**

"Stand Up! Your holding your kunai wrong! Go, left!" 

I stood there, listening to my father traing my little sister. He never trains me like that, noone ever treated me like that. Sakura chan, and Ino chan tell me it's a good thing and that they wished they were me. Having freedom. To me, this isn't freedom. It's more like lonliness. Everyone in our Hyuga household says I'm too weak, that i'll never take over the Hyuga clan. That's when my little sister was born. My father took great care of her. Me, I was trained by my father for a while, but soon, he gave up. Just like that. 

_"You can't change people!"_ I still remember those words Neji told me. He was right, I can't change that fact that i'm weak, and worthless...but..can't I be able to change just a little? Can't I for once be someone I want to be? No, I suppose that's just too much to have. I no longer belong in this family anymore. I can't take on the Hyuga clan. I just can't. 

"Hinata?! Hinata what is wrong with you?!" I looked up at the harsh voice that yelled to me, father. I then realized that I stood in the middle of the hall way. Probably just staring at the walls. 

"Gomen nasai.." I said and quickly got out of the way. I saw my father glance a warning look at me and left along with my sister who looked at me as if she didn't knew me. 

That's true though..I never really sat down and talked with this girl I referred to "Little sister". I wonder, how would it be like, to get to know her. What intrests does she have? What does she hates? What's her natrual talent? There are so many things taht I yet to know of. 

What about Naruto? I never gotten a chance to at least have a conversation with him. I always watched him always wanting him to look my way. He never really did though, at the Chunnin exaims he cheered me on, I felt so happy. I knew though, that he was in love with Sakura chan. She's in love with Sasuke though, ans Sasuke wants to kill someone. Ironic isn't it? How most of the times, you can't really get what you want. A lot of people say is to fight for the person you love..personally It's an odd. If you truly love someone, you have to put that peron in front of you, otherwise, if we keep puting ourselves first, we'll inly suceed in oushing the other away. Why can't everyone see that? 

Doorbell, who could be here right now? I rush over to the door. If you love someone though, you also need to comsider your feelings right? So, why do I love Naruto so much? I lift my hand to the door, still wondering in my thoughts. I turned slightly and came face to face with Akamaru. 

"Shino kun, Kiba kun, do you need anything?" I asked my companions. 

Kiba kun stared at me stragnly then said, "Didn't Shino tell you?" 

Tell me what? I looked at him then asked, "Is there something going on?" 

Kiba kun turned around to Shino kun and yelled at him, "You were suppose to tell her!!" 

"I had one of my bugs go tell her..." I heard Shino say. 

"Do you think she understand "bug" ?!" Kiba asked. 

"...if she saw one of my bugs she should know." Yeah, I guess I am stupid like that. I never get things right. 

"Shino you baka! Your making her cry!" Kiba yelled. Was I really about to cry? Am I really that weak? 

"Anyways, Hinata. The Carnival is in Konoha today! We all thought you could come with Me, Shino, and Akamaru to go!" Kiba kun didn't make much sense, but I guess it was because he was so excited. 

"S-sure." I heard myself mumble. 

"Alright! Lets get going!!" kiba kun journyed on foreword and looked at me and Shino, motioning us to follow. 

Shino kun did a deep sigh and followed along with "Bee chan". That's how it always was, Kiba kun was the leader, and Shino was the smart one who looked after us. I'm..i'm just nobody, I'm such a burden to everyone 

"Look, Naruto is here too! Yeah! I'm going to kick his butt at the arcade today just you watch!" Kiba laughed really loud and Naruto kun came over and strated to argue with him. It makes me feel sad, Naruto kun alwyas sticks up for himself, but I'm always the person who lets everyone has their way. Why? Why do I keep doing this? I keep feeling so..bad. 

"Eh? Hinata? Are you okay? Your crying." Shino kun asked me. Kiba kun and Naruto kun stopped arguing and looked at me. 

"N-nothing, I just forgot to...uhmm.." I tried to find an answer, what can I say? I can't tell them it's because I was thinking how weak I am. 

"Eh? Hinata, why are cryung?" Naruto kun asked me. He was worried, how nice. I could feel myself blush slightly but I just smiled weakly. 

Kiba kun grabbed my wrist and asked me, "You sure?" 

I nodded my head. Naruto kun smiled at me and said, "Then lets go!! Sakura chan will be at the feriss wheel!! Kehehehe, and I'm also going to show baka Sasuke what a true Genin I am when we go to the Arcade!! Woo hoo for DDR!!" 

"Shut up!! We don't need to know about that!" Kiba kun yelled still holding my wrist as If I was going to run home. 

"Hey! I'm going to kick Sasuke's and yours butt at that game!! Just you wait!" 

.But.. 

"Oh yeah?!" 

I know... 

"You two are getting annoying.." 

..I know that... 

"Shut up bug boy!!" 

I know that.. 

"Eh? Did something happen Hinata? Your smiling." Naruto kun asked me. 

I smiled ans said, "Nothing." 

I know that...I won't run back to home..I won't run away from this day. Maybe one day, I will change, but for now, I think I'll remain here, as me, with them. 

==== 

r e a d a n d r e v i e w ! 


	2. koko chan's notice

koko: oddly, some ppl actually like this fic? so here come's koko chan's question: 

should I continue it? 


	3. pov2

**koko chan: well, I guess I should continue it huh? **

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I walked home in the cold winter, the cold wrapping it's unwanted arms around me. I can feel my breath turning into smoke in front of me. Everything was covered in either white or gray. The fair was intresting, Naruto kun unfortunately, lost to Kiba kun and Sasuke at DDR. Ino and Sakura versed each other in the DDR where you do it with your hands or something like that. Shinno got extremely bored with the matter. Everyone was doing everything that they would normally do. It was a very hectic but fun day. I held myself tighter, it was so cold! I knew I should've brought a sweater, but I was just in a hurry, so I forgot. Kiba kun and Shinno kun wanted to walk home with me, I don't want to cause trouble for them though. So I just nodded my head and left. I sort of regret doing that now, I feel so alone. 

I looked in front of me again, since I was staring at my shoes when I walked. Everything was blurry...why is that? I also feel so dizzy, and I feel that the floor is coming up at me. I closed my eyes, and thought, I'm going to fall, i'm going to lay in the cold snow. I waited, I didn't collide with the floor, so I looked up. I met eye to eye with two figures I knew all too well. 

"..Kiba kun? Shinno Kun?" I asked them. I couldn't hold out any more though, I could feel my eyelids get heavier and heavier. 

_later_ 

"It's a good thing we followed her!" What was that..who was talking? 

"Imagine what would've happened if she was alone." Was that Shinno kun? 

"Hey! I think she's coming through!!" Kiba kun? 

"Bark!!!" I felt a wet tounge against my cheek, yeah. Akamaru. 

I tried to get up. My body seemed extremely heavy than usual. Kiba kun suddenly got up and pushed me down gently. 

"Don't get up, idiot. You know how sick you are?" He said to me. Looking at him in the eye, I wonder, am I really that sick? Than I noticed the territory I was in. It was..unfamilier to me. 

Shinno kun and Kiba kun must've noticed my curioustiy because Shinno said quietly to me, "Your in Kiba's house." 

"Oh, well, I can just go to my house you know, you don't have to go through all this trouble!!" I said to them, I don't want to be a bother. 

"Duh, no! Your our comrade, it's our job to make sure everyone is okay! Plus, my house was the closest." Kiba kun said happily over to me. I happened to notice a little error in what he said. 

So I spoke up, "I was on my way to my house though, so Isn't my house closer?" As soon as this exited my mouth I could feel the uneasy silence in the room. Kiba kun and Shinno kun both looked down slightly. 

"Well..uhm.." KIba kun mumbled, Shinno kun looked like he was trying to come up with an answer as well. I too, felt a frown on my face. I knew the answer, I was right, my house was closest, and I knew why we went to Kiba kun's house. 

"My father...didn't let me in huh?" I asked to the both of them, me eyes were slowly crying out tears. There was another uneasy silence. I was right after all. Father never really accepted me. So why should he accept me when I'm so weak, I catch a fever. I felt a sudden weight on my lap, Akamaru was cuddling in my lap, as of trying to comfort me. Then, the tears came. 

I quickly put my hands in front of my face. "I..just hate it! I..I..hate it all! Father doesn't accpet me! I-I'm s-so weak!! Even When I fought Neji Oniisan I couldn't-Couldn't." I didn't understand what I was saying, of course I couldn't beat Neji Oniisan. But why, why do I feel so much pain knowing I can't? Why do I feel pain knowing that I can't beat my little sister and not get accepted by my father.. "I..I want to change so bad!!!" 

"Why?" I stopped, I stopped crying, I knew where the voice came from. Naruto kun. I looked up immediately, I came face to face with Naruto kun, Sakura chan, almost everyone. 

"Why do you want to change?" Naruto kun asked again. 

"B-Because N-no one accepts me.." I sniffled. 

"That's not true Hinata chan." Sakura chan calmly said to me. "We accept you." 

They accept me, they accept me. How ironic, my family doesn't yet they do. Why is that? 

"Why?" I asked them, wanting to hear the answer. 

"Because you Hinata." Shinno kun said to me. Am I really that great? Just being Hinata? 

"But..I'm so weak." I said to them. 

"So?" Naruto asked. So? Is it really alright to be weak? Can I really stay the same? 

"There are lots of ways to be strong Hinata." Kiba kun said cheerfully to me. I looked at him, than at everyone else.Different ways? 

"Example, Naruto is strong in his way, your strong in yours!" Sakura chan smiled brightfully as she said this. 

"If your father can't accept you, than he doesn't see the qualities that you have." Shinno kun once again surpirsed me. 

"After all, you cute, nice, and you have a strong sense of will power!" Naruto kun yelled. I feel so happy, i'm really strong in this way huh? I never thought of that. 

"So smile Hinata. Smile for us once again." Naruto kun calmed down a little when he said this. I felt my lips curls up to a smile. 

"That's the way to go!!!" Kiba Kun yelled. 

They all laughed and started to talk. Sakura chan offered me some soup she had made, I gladly accepted. Then she started to talk about how Kiba kun called Naruto and her, and almost everyone about me. Naruto was the first to hurry over. 

"I thought he was going to freeze to death because he forgot to put on a jacket before he left!" Sakura laughed out. 

"Really?" I asked her. Sakura nodded at me, with her famous caring smile. I looked over to Naruto, who was arguing to Kiba kun. 

How is it? That they would fight a deadly snow storm and all they want me to do is smile? Yet, it feels so right. To know, that..I'm accepted into somewhere. Some place. 

"Hey, is Hinata sama here?" I looked up, It was Neji oniisan. Why, was he here? 

"Yeah, she's right here." Sakura chan said stiffly. Everyone eyed Neji oniisan for a while. 

Neji oniisan felt everyone's uneasyness so he just explained calmly,"Someone told the main house that she was sick with a fever, her father told me to go get her." Father was worried? Father wanted me to go home? 

Neji Oniisan came over to me and turned his back, offering me to go on it. "Get on and I'll carry you home." 

"Wait! She needs to be covered in blankets first! She might catch an even higher fever!" Sakura chan yelled, wrapping some blankets around me. 

"Hey! Neji needs a jacket too! We don't want her ride to be driven awau in the snow!" Naruto kun joked. 

I heard Neji Oniisan made a sigh, showing he was annoyed. "Why don't you all come?" He said starcastically. 

"Great idea!!!" Kiba kun yelled and he ran to get his coat. 

"I wasn't serious!!!" Neji oniisan yelled after him. 

"Well, in truth, we just don't trust you." Shinno kun said, then he put on his coat and went to wait outside. 

"Hey, you really want them to come?" Neji oniisan asked me. 

"Yes," I told him calmly, "I want them to come." 

"Suit yourself." 

Amazing, how when you really want something you could never get. You wait, and you never get it, you cry, because you think that it would never come....but when you do get it, it makes you feel so happy. 

_on the walk home_ 

**third person's POV**

"Hey, she's asleep." Kiba said looking on Neji's back. 

"So she is." Neji huffed. 

"Sorry Neji, we put too many blankets on her. Are you about to faint because it's so heavy?" Sakura asked jokingly. 

"Shut up, as long as she's not cold." Naji countered. 

"Hey, do you think her father will be mad?" Naruto asked. 

"No, I don't think so." Shinno answered. 

"Yeah after all, this is the day..." Sakura started. 

"That Hinata sama feels accepted." Neji finished. 

Everyone looked at Hinata, except for Neji. On Hinata's sleepy face, was a smile. 

_Sometimes, the things that need to be heard, is the smallest voice..._

**======= **

koko chan: hope you enjoyed that pplz....i wonder of I should do another chappie.. XD .:running out of ideas:. 


	4. pov3

**Hinata's POV**

koko chan: okay, i think this miht be the last chappie of this fic. :] 

vote first though,: 

should i do a sequal? like, do another person's POV? If so, which one should I do? 

enjoy the last chappie 

[note: i'm a kibaXhinata fan so..uhm..beware you naruXhina fans. oh and probably some sakuXneji too XD XD XD .:ducks:. no flames! you have been warned!] 

======= 

I feel so dizzy again. I remember bits and bits of what happened but not so sure...Wait, I hear something, it was yelling. I can hear parts and parts of it. What are they saying? 

"What do you mean you can't find a cure?! Your a doctor! You better do as well as i'm paying you!!!" Who was that? Was that..father? But, it couldn't be..could it? 

Oh wow, everything is changing so much. From the festival, to the snow, and now father. Heh, how intresting. Hm? Was the door closing just now? What's happening? Oh, I just felt something warm touch my hands. Was that father? Was that him actually caring for me? 

"Father.." mumbled a little girl's voice. I suppose it was my sister. She was here too? Wow, things are really getting weird. 

I felt the warmness leave my hand just as quick as it was welcomed. I could hear father's footsteps turn and leave, followed by a light pair feet. 

...but now I wonder, am I that sick? Will I die? 

The door suddenly slammed open. I heard deep breathing. 

"I-is Hinata chan okay?" Asked a female voice. From the tone and softness, I was sure it was Sakura chan. 

"Hey, Hinata! Open your eyes!" Yelled another. I knew it all too well. Naruto kun. 

I smiled. I didn't know if I was physically smiling, but I did. SO, I want to open my eyes. Problem is, I can't. Why? Why can't I open my eyes? They feel so heavy all of the sudden. 

"Hinata chan!" I heard Sakura yell again. Oh, I want to see their faces. I can't open my eyes though. 

The door slammed open again. I heard a bark and a thump on the ground. 

"Hey watch it!" I heard Naruto yell. Warmness grasped my hands again and I heard someone ask, "Hinata!!! You okay?!?!" Kiba kun... "Bark!" ..and Akamaru. 

"Her breathing isn't normal." Said another voice. Shinno kun. 

"Gyaa!!!! Curse this!! Why didn't you tell her to bring a jacket???!!? Huh!? Huh!?" Kiba kun yelled and grasped myhand even tighter. Just a winter day without a jacket. 

"No, from her breathing, like Shinno said, isn't normal. She probably had this fever for a couple of days, but never knew it. It finally grew when she went outside and was exposed to the cold." Sakura chan answered. 

So that's what happened, seemed believeable. Oh well, since everyone's here, I feel happy. So I shouldn't feel sad right? But..I just want to open my eyes. 

But..I can't can I? I don't have strength to open them. I can't. 

Once again, the door opened, not as violently though. 

"Neji...?" Sakura chan asked. 

"Yeah yeah. I heard she was in bad condition." Neji niichan answered. 

"Well??" Naruto kun asked. 

"Well what?" Was the only reply. 

"Aren't you going to help her?!" Naruto kun asked again. 

"There's nothing I can do. The Hyuga clan gave her almost every medicene known to man, every jutsu known to shinobis. It depends on her now." 

Only I can wake myself up? Only I can make my eyes open? They won't though. It's like, I have lost control over my body. I can't do anything about it. So why? 

Okay, one, two, three. I see my eye lids open a little. They open wider, but this isn't the hospital..no, noone, was even here. I look closely, I see a woman, yes. She's running, chasing after a child. Is that...is that child..me? 

_'Hyuga Hinata, you get here this instance you little girl!' _

'The flowers are beautiful today mommy!' 

..mother...? 

_'Honestly, but I suppose your right.' _

'hehe. Love you mother.' 

Yes, I remeber this day so well. It was a week..before it happened. 

_'What happend?! I want to know what happend to my wife!!!' _

'Sir, she's in a very bad condition now, so if you excuse us..' 

'No! I want to know what happend!' 

'She got into a bad fever okay?! So just move!' 

'..father?' 

'Hinata.' 

'Father, what's happening to mother?' 

'......' 

'..father?' 

Yes, mother died that day, so, I suppose I follow her path huh? I suppose, I die too? 

_'Hinata, I want you to know, that no matter what you need to keep trying! Have confidence.'_

Oh mother, I wanted to believe you so much..I really did. I can't though. 

"Hinata!" 

"We're losing her!!!" 

Che, how ironic. I finally found somewhere I belonged and look what has happened. 

_'That's the different between you and I.'_

'Who..who are you?' 

_'I'm you..the other you.'_

'...what?' 

_'I'm the you that was suppose to be born, if I was born, I could've have matsered the Hyuga style.'_

"Your right, you seem smarter and much..stronger than me.' 

_'But that's where your wrong, see everything is done for a reason. If I was born, our little sister would do nothing but mope, she would become a very cold soul. And, I would spend all my time training, and I wouldn't have gained the acception like you have.'_

'..acception?' 

_'Yes, so just be strong, because you are. If you just...have confidnce.'_

"No! Dammit!!! Hinata open your eyes!!!" That was Kiba kun's voice. No, I'm, i'm still alive. I must open my eyes. 

"Hinata!!" Naruto kun... 

"..Hinata chan.." Sakura chan... 

"..Hinata." Shinno kun. 

"..Hinata sama?" Neji niichan. 

I...I want to live. I want to share food, with everyone. I want to tell Naruto kun how I feel. I want to get to know Shinno kun better, I want to know Neji niichan better! I want to share my feelings with Sakura chan! I want to go on walks with Akamaru and Kiba kun! I really want to... 

Light filled my eyes as I felt them getting lighter and lighter. I sat up and looked around. Everyone was there, all of them had their eyes on me. My cheeks flustered a little bit before I whispered, "Ko-konnichiwa." 

"Hinata!" Kiba kun yelled. HE fianlly broken the long silence that fled the room. 

"Thank you God!" Sakura chan yelled and hugged the nearest thing to her. 

Neji slightly turned red as Sakura hugged him and was crying tears. Neji..and Sakura? Oh well, anythings possible. 

_'That's right, anything's possible.'_

Yes, anything is possible. Yeah, i'm sure of it now. These past days, have been wonderful to me. No matter of all the pain I went through, I love it here so much. 

"Hinata! Don't cry again!" Kiba kun stated and patted my back. 

"N-no, i'm not crying because I'm sad, I'm just so happy...Even though, I knew I couldn't open my eyes, I heard everyone." I cried. It felt good this time. 

"Anosa, anosa, how about we all go eat ramen after this!!" Naruto kun asked. 

"Baka!! We need to let Hinata get better first!" Sakura chan yelled. 

"sakura..you can let go now.." Neji niichan said. 

"Oh sorry." Sakura chan quickly let go and started to slightly blush. 

"You sure your alright?" Shinno kun asked me. 

"Yes i'm fine." I answered, I looked downa dn realized the warmth never left my hands. Kiba kun was still holding on. 

I looked out the window, everyhting was peaceful again, I think my fever, my depression, my birth, I don't think...it was all coincidence. 

Everyone...thank you... 

**====== **

for those of you who didn't cath it, here's how it went: 

Chapter one: realization 

chapter two: acception 

chapter three: strength. 

wow, no "tion" at the end. So yeah. R&R and remeber to vote 


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